Everything seemed blurry…the bowler will have the stigma of his friend’s painful death for the rest of his life, a deadly bouncer took his life.

Sean Abbott’s bouncer is remembered as one of the most terrifying and soul-shattering moments in cricket history. Australia’s rising star Phillip Hughes died after getting injured during a local match. That incident of 25 November 2014 shook sports lovers around the world. A vicious bouncer from Abbott hit Hughes near the neck, severing an artery and he died at St Vincent’s Hospital two days later.

This incident had a deep impact on Abbott. He was in shock over Hughes’ death for several months. Recalling that moment, Abbott wrote that Hughes was a little hasty in playing the shot. “I think Phillip was a little hasty in playing the shot. If the batsman is quick in playing the shot then it seems that the ball was not as fast as he thought. I don’t remember whether the ball was fast or slow. Maybe the pitch was a little slow that day. The SCG pitch is like that.

“When Philip got the ball, I saw him start to stumble and I ran to the other end of the pitch. I caught the right side of his head with my left hand. I stayed on the field until Philip was taken to the medicab and then returned to the change room. When I reached the change room I felt very confused and sad, with a headache. People were coming up to me but I don’t remember what they said. Everything seemed blurry. Very “I was feeling tired. These feelings stayed with me for the next few days.”

The investigation also raised questions on New South Wales’s strategy that day. Abbott echoed the views of his teammate Brad Haddin, Doug Bollinger, David Warner and Hughes’ batting partner Tom Cooper. There was nothing unusual that day, as usually happens in a Sheffield Shield match. “I don’t remember anything unusual in the bowling before the incident or on that day. I don’t remember any specific instructions being given to the team at lunch or any specific plan being made after lunch, although there must have been a discussion within the team.

“I do not remember Phillip or Tom feeling uncomfortable or being affected by the bowling strategy prior to the incident. I felt the game was being played within the rules and spirit of cricket that day. I do not recall any argument or conversation with the batsmen and I do not recall personally speaking to Phillip or Tom.

Abbott and Hughes made their T20 debut for Australia in Dubai in 2014. “I always respected Philip. He was a strong player. I always felt that I would have to work hard to get him out. Maybe I never got him out.”