Nowadays, there is not only major infidelity in relationships, but there can be many ways to cheat your partner, and the result is not the same every time, but even small acts can weaken the trust in relationships, which is usually called microcheating. Jeff Guenther, a relationship counselor in Portland, said that these are behaviors that may not directly seem like cheating, but have the power to weaken a partner's trust.
What is microcheating?
Jeff Guenther explains that microcheating means those small actions which are not completely called cheating, but it seems that the person is not completely loyal to his partner, such as secretly talking to the ex, flirting with someone else and taking more interest in a particular person on social media. According to him, these things may seem small, but they create distance in the relationship. According to him, these are of two types and both have different effects.
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2 types of microcheating
- Jeff Guenther divides microcheating into two types, which have different effects on the relationship. The first is manipulation and deception, which should be avoided, the first is the one that involves deception, such as texting your ex and erasing the evidence, or saving the number of an attractive new friend under a wrong name. This type of microcheating is wrong, it is a kind of cheating, and this behavior is also the most harmful for the relationship, because it breaks trust and increases misunderstandings, whereas the other way is normal and if done correctly, can breathe new life into the relationship.
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- Apart from this, Jeff Guenther calls the second method as flicker. There is no lie or stealth in this, rather it is a normal pull that can happen to anyone. Like being attracted to someone's beauty or considering them attractive, as well as having light, humorous conversations with someone and liking someone's good photos on social media. Jeff considers the first type of microcheating to be bad for the relationship. However, if partners talk to each other openly about this 'flicker' and do not feel insecure about it, then it can also be good for the relationship.
- This only works when partners are loyal to each other and trust that the other person knows “when, where and to what extent” to be attracted to the other.
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Which one is better?
According to Jeff Guenther, “flicker” is less harmful because there is no concealment in it, but he also clearly says that honesty is important in the relationship, it is important to set boundaries in the relationship and also the consent of both the partners is important.
Microcheating may seem like a small thing, but it can have a big impact on the relationship. That is why trust, truth and open communication are most important in any relationship. Also, if partners respect each other's feelings and are honest with each other, then their relationship becomes even stronger and happier.
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